This year has come to an end, and thus it's time for me to reflect and look towards 2024. Here are my thoughts as of now.
How the year went:
Honestly, this year went past at a blink of an eye. Like 2022 the days were busy with PhD related work, which at this point I feel is becoming a tangible skillset in me. In contrast, I think the biggest difference from 2022 is that I started to work on focused larger projects. As clear results I was able to wrap up the raspberry project and get it published, and made significant progress on the dexterous manipulation project which I've been wanting to do for some time (still no paper, preprint will come soon...).
Like anything, narrowing down to a singular topic/project is both nice and sobering, as you have something concrete to base yourself but also feel some sort of opportunity cost. In any case, I think this is a positive direction for me.
That being said, I think I spent a disproportionate amount of time with the question of what I want to do and where I want to go circling around my head. So many times have I been asked (directly and indirectly) this question, and so many times have I responded with an 'I am unsure' response which was quite frustrating. The question usually comes down to a decision between academia vs something else. And the truth (now included) is that none of the options are an obvious direction always with compromises and pros/cons to consider. Compared to when I decided to pursue a PhD, this one feels a lot more (even if it isn't) as a bigger, longer lasting decision.
What I want to do:
After all the hours thinking and sitting on the fence, recently I see myself a lot clearer as someone in the academic research world. I think this became clearer really in the last month as I was at home in Japan longer than usual from early December. Spending some time away from the lab and the usual robotics/engineering world gave me opportunities to think differently and interact with people outside of the common circle.
The biggest self-insight is that I genuinely drawn to the academic research process, trying to construct new ideas, realising them, presenting and formulating the thoughts, philosophical discussions, and the intellectual challenges associated in addition (or maybe even more) than the robotic development which I already know is a thing I enjoy for life. In short, there is a realisation that I find interest and pleasure in the subject/philosophy of robotics itself rather than the engineering. Some people have been telling me this from long before, so perhaps it has been obvious from the outside world. However, for me, for the past 10+ years working with robots links with the engineering and technical aspects - which I really love. There is a genuine sadness that whatever I do, if I decide to 'go up' in position, the time I could spend for technical work will diminish towards zero.
What also helped for me to come to this clarity is by reflecting upon the implicit choices I have been making. Back in Cambridge, there was a point where I 'wanted' to like particular subjects of engineering/robotics (e.g.: control theory). And although I find it interesting, they somehow weren't passions. Implicitly I have been choosing paths were I can tinker around and be a maker, which resulted in deciding to do a PhD where it's hardware centric; and I'm so glad to have made this decision. In the same way, looking back since starting at EPFL, the implicit choices I've made points towards an academia oriented direction.
Obviously, this isn't set in stone, and I don't want it to be that way. But right now this seems to be an apparent choice rather than being forced - which is certainly progress from last year.
Directions for 2024:
There is an overwhelming amount of challenges and things to do both for my life and the field. Now with AI development going crazy, the craziness is trickling down to robotics too. The urge to rush and get stuff done quickly clashes with the reality of everything taking time and the challenges of developing half-decent idea let alone sharp theories. But it doesn't change what I should do to maximise my chances and aim higher.
Broadly speaking I want to be more ambitious next year. Take more risks, learn new topics, aways aim high for results, actively make new connections, and explore the world more. I think this year was meaningful to start to develop a solid base, and now that should diversify more.
Specifically, I want to strengthen the current work on the soft-rigid robotic hand in several different research directions (more bio-inspiration, sensing, coordination, learning, etc). I also want to take non-technical opportunities whether it be organisation of events/workshops and visiting other labs.
First thing on the list is to submit the current project I've been working on pretty much all year. Personally, this will be a big moment for me.
As always, I feel blessed for the people around me and the opportunities I have had (not only this year, but all until now). The best moments are always shared with someone, and saves me when things are not going well. Thank you for all the support.
Let's see how 2024 pans out!
(Photo of the beautiful Lausanne cityscape and Lac Léman).
